 | macau | Aug 29, '07 9:54 PM
for everyone |
it's been a while since i went anywhere with my mom. so though macau is not far away, we were looking forward to spend a leisurely weekday afternoon there, shopping for antique Chinese furniture. it was august 29th - one day after the opening of the Venetian - the world's largest casino. *hint* hint* little did we realize its impact. the queue was busier than usual at the ticket counter, and the earliest tickets we could get were an hour later. we loitered around and managed to get on an earlier boat. but the moment we got off the ferry on the other side, we were already 'reined in'. our whole boat of several hundred people had just gotten off the boat and were already waiting just to go into the immigration hall. 15 minutes later, another ferry arrives and unloads another several hundred passengers, who were also reined in and waiting. in the end, it took one hour to get through immigration. then came the wait at the taxi stand. the chinese have a saying 'a queue like a snake coiled', and that was how the queue was. so about 20 minutes later, we finally get a cab. we get into the cab, and then started asking the cab driver how long it'll take to get to our destination(15min.), and back from our destination (45min.). a few minutes later, we noticed we were still waiting at the same traffic light. we asked him about it, he popped his head out, and then said "oh, there's been an accident". it was at that moment: 2.5 hrs. from the moment we first boarded the ferry from hong kong, when we were still only outside the ferry terminal, that my mom and i looked at each other and said 'maybe we should go shopping another time'. so we got off the cab, and headed back to hong kong. it was an uneventful return, thankfully.
was catching up with an old friend, who asked me to spill the beans on my latest. and i am thinking... i have been so immersed in this mommy-baby world that the only things i hv to spill nowadays are diapers and milk!
just the other day, i was humming to myself one of adam's songs... 'six little ducks... wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble to and fro... but the one little duck wth the feather on his back... he rules the others with his quack quack quack'... and i thought! OMG! what am i doing?! where is the trendy, jet-setting, frequent traveller, cosmo girl tanya? i hv become a full-time full-on mommy! i even hum nursery rhymes when i'm not with adam! goodness gracious! i hv truly evolved to another being! hahahahhahaa!!!
and it's totally worth it.  enough said... let's all together now wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble to and fro! with a quack! quack! quack!
Yoga is the union of body, mind and soul. Forging these three forces together is very powerful, and bears fruit to many a beautiful being. The mere fact that I have given birth to a little one somehow makes me a mother, but hardly prepares me for parenthood. It is only the intent that I have to be a better person that makes me want to be a better parent for young Adam. And this drive is even stronger now. There is so much more at stake when I have a little one who will soak up everything that I do, say and reason. Like yoga, forging my thoughts, speech and actions to be more loving, more patient and more kind.
And without putting too much pressure on myself, I quote from one of the wise mothers I met on the playground, "Our children grow up in spite of us." Om.
breastfeeding - quote from a book, like your nipples being pulled out an inch or two, then flattened, and sucked on hard for 20-30 minutes, 6-8 times a day, 24/7. they say it gets better when the baby starts teething. ouch. and the good news? the body compensates by releasing oxytocin, creating that bonding experience btw mother and child.
but sleep, what's that? - newborns feed every 2-3 hrs., so back then i was a walking zombie, and i felt for those inmates who had experienced the no-sleep torture treatment. but by six wks., baby feeds every 4 hrs., and somehow taking a 3 hr nap is sufficient. then i realize how resilient the human body is.
wah! wah! - i read somewhere that ppl get real uncomfortable with baby crying, esp. if it continues on and on and on... it's true... until i learnt to differentiate btw. his hunger cry, bored cry, gimme-a-cuddle cry, diaper cry. amazing. then again, sometimes they just cry... to give their lungs a workout maybe?
oh so smart - babies are born knowing how to suck, wave their hands, kick their legs and grasp real tight. then they learn that they have hands and feet - that these appendages that fling around belong to them, and "hey, i can put my thumb in my mouth and sucking that feels pretty darn good too." so cute.
so many things to learn. so incredibly intelligent. what an honour to be human. and what a joy to watch little adam learn about his world. so much of which i now take for granted, for him, it's intriguing. reminds me to pause and appreciate all those little things in life. so when did you last stop to smell the roses? 
ppl often ask when i am back to yoga... frankly, i've been continuing with the practice... less with the asanas, more in the principles of yoga after little adam has arrived. when a fellow yoga instructor said, the real yoga begins with your child, i fully agree.
on the mat, as we do each posture, we could be focusing on our alignment. in balancing sequences, we could be focusing being centered. in relaxation asanas, we could be focusing on letting go. in caring for little adam, practicing surrender and focus were the big things for me.
in practicing surrender, i had to let go of wanting to do things at a certain time. no matter how tired i am, how much i want to sleep, the baby is crying, so i must get up to feed.
and practice being centered, emotionally. baby is crying and crying and crying... and i am trying not to let that get me down, 'cuz there are certainly moments when i feel i must be a terrible mother, not being able to console the little one... and then i realize that is my own fear taking hold of me, so i take a step back... to watch, to listen, to what he is telling me.
"breathe. relax. feel. watch. allow." as my yoga teachers had taught, this is one way to have a constant yogic state of mind. and no, i am no saint and i hv not mastered yoga. nor am i always content or at peace. i am just intent on practicing and practicing and practicing... and am grateful for the opportunities to do so. OM.
| One | Sep 28, '06 11:26 PM
for everyone |
looking at little Adam, i see so many expressions fleet across his face as he sleeps, and as he learns the numerous physical functions of his human body;
and i'm reminded of the book by dr. brian weiss, 'many lives, many masters', of how we as free spirits, choose to come back into this world, into this dimension, to fulfill our karmas and cleanse our samskaras, in our chosen bodies, chosen times, with chosen soulmates;
as i watch him struggle with the daily pooping, burping and settling to sleep... how limiting this physical body can be... when compared to the freedoms of the mind... when we are united with the One.
and how ironic that it is through parenthood, that I feel more of this connection One than ever before. Om.
"what's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"... from Romeo and Juliet.
bhakti is my sanskrit name, given to me by my yoga masters Yogi Vishveketu and his wife Chetana, as part of our initiation on the yogic path. i had received it in a puja ceremony in rishikesh last october. and the name means 'devotion'. the use of this name, bhakti helps remind me of my higher purpose in life... and helps me stay on my path!
for those who have known me a while, they still call me tanya, which is still my name too!
which is also why i use both...
ppl ask what is hypnobirthing...
no, it's not hippo-birthing.
no, it has nothing to do with water.. it was not hydro-birthing.
no, no one was swinging a pendulam in front of my face, putting me into hypnosis.
and no, i was not putting myself into some sort of trance... well... uhh... maybe...
one thing i will say, yoga and hypnobirthing go well together hand-in-hand.
hypnobirthing by definition is "birthing classes intended to help you have the most natural childbirth possible, using easily-learned self hypnosis and breathing techniques." so you are taught to focus on the celebration of life, on the baby coming out, on the joys of seeing baby. so every time i had a contraction, tim would be gently telling me to breathe in relaxation, and breathe love down to the baby. so instead of focusing on the 'pain' of the contraction, as that is the usually the first associated emotion with 'labour', we've changed the focus to 'relaxation' and 'bringing baby to this world'. it is incredible! this stuff actually works. i was able to have natural birth - no intervention, no drugs - so no pain relief of any kind, no cuts, no forceps, vacuums, and stuff like that.
that did not mean i did not feel pain... it's just... it really showed me how our minds are masters of the body - and that by changing my focus, the labour experience was actually pleasant(believe it or not?!), and truly a celebration of life being born, on welcoming our baby to this world. after all, isn't that what birth should be about? welcoming the miracle of a new life?
Holy cow! Labour is a piece of cake compared to what happens after the baby comes home.
Hail to the king! My lord has come. When he calls, I obey. What he commands, I do. Five star butler service. 24/7.
Away goes sleep! Welcome to the art of power napping!
Day 20: 2am in the morning, and I've got the baby attached to one breast, and pumping from the other. How my life has changed. I feel like a walking zombie... or a cow... moo! moo!
However, one look at the young king, and my heart melts, and it is all totally worth it! There is no greater joy than looking at the little one, and we fall in love with him more and more each day. Halleluiah!
Pregnancy is the most beautiful feeling in the world. To be part of the daily miracle in nurturing and growing a strong and healthy baby. To create life! To celebrate life! What an honour! What a joy! What a blessing! Jaya jaya! Halleluiah!
On the same note, labour is also a rite of passage, of breathing love down to the baby, and with each surge, bringing the baby closer to the world. Tim and I took a hypnobirthing course, and were blessed to experience a completely natural, loving birth - enjoying a peaceful serene welcome of our baby boy, weighing in at 3.11kg on Tuesday August 15th. A Fire Dog Leo. Sounds like a fiery combination! I guess our days will never be dull from now on. Keep you posted.
Tim and I first met Thanksgiving two years ago, so this holiday now has special meaning to me, which is why, we decided to go back to his hometown of Baton Rouge to celebrate this year. Starting from Hong Kong via Tokyo via Minneapolis/ St. Louis via Memphis and 30+ hrs. later, to Baton Rouge, we finally arrive!
Two months ago, my diet became solely vegetarian. What kind of vegetarian - I'm not sure. Let's call it the sattvic vegetarian: no eggs, no garlic, no onions. (Okay - there are exceptions i.e. when sick, garlic.) So I was kinda apprehensive about Thanksgiving holidays. My experiences come holiday season with family is this: OINK! OINK! it's like being a pig on a pig farm - they just keep feeding you as if the world is coming to an end and there will never be a next meal! And of course, they won't take 'no' for an answer! So this year, I was wondering what my first holiday festivities would be like. Thankfully, my very considerate mother-in-law, Mom May, had prepared stir-fried noodles with spring onions and ginger. Yup, while the rest had a gastronomic orgy, I had one of the best and healthiest Thanksgiving dinners ever.
One thing I must say about being vegetarian. It simplified my life. Less choices, but healthier choices. Less processed stuff, more fresh foods. More on quality, less on quantity. More santosha, contentment, less aparigraha, less on greed. This is syncing well with my yogic lifestyle, which I'm trying to keep since my yoga training in Rishikesh, India. Yet another thing to be thankful for. So with that, hari om!
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